Take it easy ‘kiddo! Why are you in such a rush anyway?

Most people are rushing their way through life. They fail to take the time necessary to nurture their relationships, feed their mind, relax their body or get in touch with their soul's desire for freedom and peace.

Life moves relentlessly forward one day at a time, and there is nothing any of us can do to stop it or slow it down.

We are all getting older every day, but we don't have to grow older every day. Taking time to day-dream, visit a friend, or just have coffee with your significant other is time well-spent.

There is a rush to tomorrow by all of us. We are being prodded into the future by faster computers, shorter delivery times, and a general need to have it, do it, and see it all: NOW!

Take time today for yourself.

Take time to breathe in life, all of it: its color, splendor, smells, tastes, and sounds. From the smallest most insignificant event to the things you have taken for granted.

Tomorrow will be here before you know it.

Today will be a distant memory before you realize it. We create our futures and memories in the present. Go through life today, conscious of your surroundings.

Today is a gift of life.

Live it with gratitude and don't let the sun set today without seeing it, embracing it, and enjoying it.

Why are you in such a rush anyway?

You can't have it all, do it all, learn it all, see it all, become it all, teach it all, in one lifetime so why frustrate yourself and those who are in your immediate life circle with this relentless drive for whatever.

I am not suggesting "vegetable status" here. I am only asking you to evaluate your life philosophy and this need for something - that is missing in your life - and trying to make up for it by an over zealous push for something, anything.

One way to determine where you fit on this do nothing to trying to do everything continuum is to honestly get in touch with your ability to do NOTHING. Just sit or walk and reflect.

No agenda, no deadline, just a laid back approach to life once in a while.

Game Not Over

Life is not a spectator sport; win, lose or draw, the game is in progress whether we want it to be or not.

So go ahead, argue with the refs, change the rules, cheat a little, take a break and tend to your wounds.

But play hard.

Play fast.

Play loose and free.

Play as if there's no tomorrow.

Ok so, it’s not whether you win or lose its how you play the game, right?

Quick Fix

As partners, as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns.

And just when you’ve gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you shifts...

And knocks you off your feet.

If you're lucky, you'll end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a bandaid will cover.

But, some wounds are deeper than they first appear, and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip of the bandaid, let them breathe and give them time to heal.

Ang labo nito ‘tsong! Mas malabo pa sa malinaw!

Ayokong hanapin mo ako dahil sa hindi mo ako makita, (malabo) dahil sa hindi mo ako maramdaman. (malabo pa rin)

Nitong nagdaang mga araw, nagbabago ako ng anyo. Isa akong yelo, na nakakulong sa bakal na puno ng kalawang. Hindi tumatakbo ang oras. Paano ako makakawala nang hindi natutunaw? Nang hindi nadudumhan?

Kung dumating ang oras na maghahanap ka, puntahan mo ang nagliliparang alikabok. Isa ako sa kanila. At kung sakaling mapuwing ka, isipin mong ako ang pumupuwing sa 'yo para di ka masaktan. Gusto kong maramdaman mo ang aking presensya nang hindi ako nakikita.

Kung madaan ka sa mga halaman, 'wag kang kukuha ni isang dahon man lang, baka ako ang iyong mapitas, malulungkot ako.

Pag ninais kong muling magbagong anyo, (ayoko pa) 'wag kang umasang makita ako, mag-iiba ako ng porma’t disenyo.

Kung mapadaan ka sa umaagos na tubig, damhin mo iyon ng iyong mga palad. Wag mong punasan, isipin mo ako, hayaan mong matuyo at saka ako maglalaho.

Isipin mo lang akong tumatawa, tulad ng lagi kong ginagawa. Isipin mo lang akong tinotopak, at tawagin mo akong baliw, hindi pa rin ako masasaktan, tulad ng dati.

Hindi mo man ako makita, hindi ako lalayo. Magbago man ako ng anyo, ako pa rin ako. 'Wag mo na akong hanapin dahil hindi ako nagtatago, pero hindi ako magpapakita. Hayaan mong lumipas ang panahon... hanggang sa naisin kong ilapit ang langit sa aking puso... doon lang ako magiging malaya.



P.S.

Hindi ako lumilimot, at hindi ako lilimot. Gusto ko lang maglakbay ng walang anino... ng walang kasaysayan para sa isang kaibigan.

Patawad.

Autopsy on a Spoiled Girlfriend

No cracks, no fractures, no missing bones whatsoever.

Taxi cabs were her favorite way to go around the city. The boyfriend would open the car door for her and assist her while getting off the vehicle. She would take his offered hand like a princess getting off a lovely carriage. She would tell his boyfriend, "That's what boyfriends are for." Her boyfriend would nod in approval, kiss her on her forehead and smile. Her every step was watched. Her boyfriend is her safety scout. Sweet.

"If you don't take care of me, I'll break up with you."


No pulled, strained muscles.

She did not suffer from any forms of fatigue. Her life was a bliss. No need to rush to a convenient store to grab a midnight snack. Her boyfriend would offer his phone and she would call the delivery hotline. And on those days when it was not possible to have the food delivered, he would buy it himself, not minding the time nor the weather. No need to go to a spa to relax. He would light an essence lamp and ask her to lay on her tummy. He would then sooth her tired muscles using his bare hands. He was not really good at this but it pleased her. "That's what boyfriends are for," she would think.

"Buy me food, or else I'll break up with you."


Perfect condition, from mouth to the intestines.

She was well-fed. Where to eat, what to eat.. it was her choice. Her every craving was satisfied. He would also introduce her to restaurants and plates she had never tried before. She would think it was fantastic. She would gain weight and think that was her boyfriend's fault. He would smile and tell her that how attractive she still was. Compliments. That's what boyfriends are for.

"Tell me I'm the prettiest or we're through."


Clean lungs. Healthy heart.

There was no way second-hand smoke could have harmed her. He was not a smoker. He lived a healthy life and so did she. He would take her to the country side and she would enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. He had to suspend several business trips so they could go together. Because according to her, that's what boyfriends are for.

"Let's go, or I'll find another boyfriend to take me there."


No signs of depression.

Hers was a worry-free life. Before she could even detect the problem, he already resolved it for her. She was trained not to care, not to worry about almost everything. Worrying was his job. That's what boyfriends are for. He would be sick but he would tell her not to worry. He would buy and take his medicines all by himself. She would be sick and he would worry to death. A simple migraine and he would panic.

"Make the pain go away, or you'll lose me."


She was in perfect health the night he left her and yet she was found dead the following morning.

Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said:

"When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

YM CONVERSATIONS (ISSUE NO.1)

Him: Buzz.

Me: Buzz.

Him: What’s up?

Me: Nothing much, just checking my mails. You?

Him: Sad.

Me: Oh, what’s the matter?

Him: Long story.

Me: I have all day. =)

Him: We broke up.

Me: Again?

Him: This time I think it’s for real.

Me: Why what happened?

Him: I caught him.

Me: With someone?

Him: Nope. It wasn’t really me who saw him, it was my friend.

Me: How sure is your friend that it was your boyfriend he saw?

Him: He was pretty sure.

Me: Where?

Him: Bath house.

Me: Oh dear, what is he doing there?

Him: I don’t know.

Me: I want to give you a hug right now. Do you want some company?

Him: I’d rather be alone.

Me: But text me if you need anything okay?

Him: What will happen to me?

Me: You’ll be fine. You have your whole life in front of you. You have your family, your job, your friends. You have me if that makes any difference to you.

Him: I can’t live without him.

Me: Sure you can. I mean it will be hard… but it will pass.

Him: What have I done to deserve this?

Me: Don’t be too hard on yourself. It wasn’t you. He screwed up. You had nothing to do with that. You can’t control someone, even if they love you.

Him: I don’t think he loves me.

Me: You guys should talk… if not now, when you are both ready. You have to know why he went there.

Him: Knowing the reason won’t help me.

Me: But if that will help you on your next relationship, I think it’s still worth knowing.

Him: I love him so much.

Me: We all know that. But it’s not yet over, you can still try to patch things up.

Him: Then, he’ll do it again?

Me: I can’t speak for him. But everyone deserves a second chance don’t you think?

Him: Hell no, he doesn’t. I’m hurting now.

Me: That’s normal. But you gradually get over the pain. It doesn't go right away, not for a long time, but it becomes easier to live with. One morning you wake up and he's not the first thing on your mind. And then a few months down the line you realize you've made it through half the day without thinking of him.

Him: How can I do that? We’ve been together for 2 years?

Me: Well, sometimes it takes months, sometimes, years, but eventually you reach a point when you only think about him occasionally. You manage to do this because you don't see him as often as now, you don't hear about him, you try not to think about him.

Him: Do you think I should talk to him?

Me: Of course, for all times sake. For all the wonderful memories you guys shared.

Him: What is closure gonna bring me?

Me: Peace of mind.

Him: So I guess this is it for us huh? 2 years and everything went down the drain.

Me: Parting is a joint decision; a person could not leave you if you were not willing to release them. Are you?

Him: Am I what?

Me: Willing to release him?

Him: This time I am.

People Are People

Anong bahagi ba ng tao ang totoong sya? Anong bahagi mo ba ang ikaw? Kung paghiwa-hiwalayin ang iba’t ibang parte ng tao, ano kaya sa mga ito ang magrerepresenta sa kanya? Sya ba ang utak o ang puso? Sya kaya ang baga o di kaya’y ang atay? Sya kaya ang apdo o ang bituka?

Nagtatanong lang naman.

Naisip ko kasing parating puso at utak lang ang nababanggit kapag pag ibig na ang napapag usapan, o di kaya’y kapag kailangang gumawa ng isang mahalagang desisyon. Ibig bang sabihin nito’y alin lang sa dalawa ang tao, ang puso o ang utak?

Kung ang tao ay ang kanyang utak, paano ang mga bobo, mahina din ba ang pagkatao nila? Paano ang mga baliw? Kulang din ba sa katinuan ang kanilang pagkatao? Kung maaksidente ka at mabagok ang iyong ulo? May lamat na ba ang pagkatao mo nun? Paano ang mga makalilimutin? Uliyanin din ba ang pagkatao nila?

Kung ang tao ay ang kanyang puso, paano kung magpa heart transplant sya? Hindi na ba sya yon? Mahina kaya ang pagkatao ng mga taong may sakit sa puso? Kung ipinanganak ang isang sanggol na may butas sa puso, butas din ba ang kanyang pagkatao?

Kung ang tao ay hindi ang kanyang utak o puso, sino sya?

Kung ang tao ay ang kanyang buhok, panot din ba ang pagkatao ng mga taong kalbo? Magulo din ba ang pagkatao ng mga kulot? Maputi din ba ang pagkatao ng mga matatanda?

Kung ang tao ay ang kanyang ngipin, kulang kulang ba ang pagkatao ng mga taong bungal? Mabaho ba ang pagkatao ng mga may bad breath? Hindi ba totoo ang pagkatao ng mga may pustiso?

Kung ang tao ay ang kanyang mata, malabo din ba ang pagkatao ng mga taong hindi malinaw ang paningin? Apat din ba ang pagkatao ng mga naka salamin? Blue din ba ang pagkatao ng mga naka contacts? Mapula ba ang pagkatao ng mga taong may sore eyes? At madumi din ba ang pagkatao ng mga taong may muta?

Kung ang tao ay ang kanyang baga, may spotting din ba ang pagkatao ng mga may TB? Mausok din ba ang pagkatao ng mga nagyoyosi?

Kung ang tao ay ang kanyang balat, maitim ba ang pagkatao ng mga negro? maputi ang mga mestizo? at madilaw ang mga intsik? Magaspang ba ang pagkatao ng mga may buni at an-an?

Kung ang tao ay ang kanyang boobs (para sa mga babae), malaki ba ang pagkatao ng mga may malaking hinaharap at nakadapa ba ang pagkatao ng mga models? Silicone ba ang pagkatao ng mga nagpa augment?

Kung ang tao ay ang ari ng babae, ibig bang sabihin nito ay napapasok ng isang lalaki ang pagkatao ng isang babae habang nagtatalik? Dinudugo din ba ang pagkatao ng taong may regla?

Kung ang tao ay ang ari ng lalake, supot ba ang pagkatao ng mga hindi tuli? Matigas ba ang pagkatao ng mga pervert? Ibig bang sabihin nito ay naisusubo ng isang babae o ng isang lalake ang pagkatao ng isang lalakeng kanilang bino blow job? Nilalabasan din ba ang pagkatao ng isang taong nag cum?

Kung mag donate ako ng isang parte ng aking katawan sa iba, kulang na ba ang pagkatao ko o mas lalong nabuo? Kung ibigay ko ang aking kidney sa iyo, ikaw ba ay ako na din? O ako ang naging ikaw?

Sa aking palagay ang tao ay higit pa sa pinagsama samang parte ng katawan. Higit pa sa iba’t ibang body systems. Higit pa sa combination ng kanyang mga buto o ugat. Sa aking palagay, ang tao ay ang kanyang mga pangarap at karanasan. Sya ay ang kanyang mga hangarin at layunin sa buhay. Sya ang kanyang prinsispyo at mga paniniwala. Sya ay ang kanyang mga kapatid, mga kaibigan, mga kaaway. Sya ay ang kanyang mga magulang, ang kanyang ina at ama.

Ang tao ay ang kanyang damdamin.

Ang tao ay ang kanyang kaluluwa.

Ang tao ay ang kanyang misyon sa buhay.

Ang tao ay tao.

Ikaw, sino ka bang talaga?

Kung totoong “Truth Hurts”, gusto mo pa bang malaman?

Katotohanan... masakit, mahirap marinig, nag iiwan ng kirot sa puso.

Kung iisipin, lahat ay gustong malaman ang totoo pero madalas din, walang gustong makadinig nito... lalo na kung alam mong masasaktan ka... kung hindi handa ang iyong kalooban... kung hindi matatag ang iyong damdamin.

Minsan, nagsasabi tayo ng totoo, dahil ang katotohanan lamang ang tanging mayroon tayo.

Minsan, nagsasabi tayo ng totoo, dahil kailangan natin itong ilabas, sabihin ng malakas, galing mismo sa ating sariling bibig.

Minsan, nagsasabi tayo ng totoo dahil hindi na natin mapigilan ang ating mga sarili.

At pagka minsan...

paminsan - minsan...

Nagsasabi tayo ng katotohanan, dahil alam natin, sa kaibituran ng ating mga puso, na karapat-dapat nilang marinig kung ano ang totoo mula sa atin at hindi mula sa iba...

Dahil ganun na lamang silang kaimportante sa atin.

Takot Ka Ba Sa Dilim?

Noong mga bata pa tayo, nakakatakot ang pagsapit ng gabi dahil sa mga multo sa ilalim ng ating mga kama. Sari-saring aswang ang naimbento ng mga matatanda para matakot tayo sa dilim. Sari-saring kababalaghan ang naipalabas na sa sampung instalments ng Shake, Rattle and Roll.

Habang tumatanda tayo at nagkakaisip, iba na ang mga multong ating kinakaharap.

Kalungkutan.

Pag-aalinlangan sa sariling kakayahan.

Panghihinayang sa mga bagay na hindi nagawa at nasabi.

Dalamhati.

Pighati.

At kahit na nasa sapat na tayong edad at marami-rami na din naming nalalaman, parati pa rin tayong natatakot sa dilim.

Pagtulog, ito ang pinaka madaling solusyon. Ang kailangan lang ay ipikit ang iyong mga mata. Pero para sa nakararami sa atin, maging ang pagtulog ay isang pagsubok. Gusto natin ito, pero may pagkakataong kahit pagtulog ay hindi natin makuhang magawa.

Subalit, kapag natutunan nating harapin ang ating mga kinatatakutan at bumaling sa iba para humingi ng tulong, ang pagsapit ng gabi ay hindi na gaanong nakakakilabot...

Dahil alam natin, na kahit sa dilim, hindi tayo nag-iisa.

Ikaw, takot ka ba sa dilim?

The Curious Case of Marvin Garcia

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. And what do you get at the end of it?

Death.

What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm.

Now, that’s more like it. =)

Napanood ko ang “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” noong Sabado. Ang haba ng pelikula. Tatlong oras din yata akong nag isip kung paano ito matatapos. Kung ang katapusan nga ba ang simula o ang simula ang katapusan. Maraming nagsabi sa akin na ang pelikula daw ay tungkol sa kamatayan pero matapos ko itong mapanood, sa palagay ko’y mas tungkol ito sa buhay.

Madami-dami din naman akong nailuha habang pinapanood ko ito. Nakakahiya man sa nakakita o nakarinig sa akin ay wala na akong paki alam. Basta’t hinahayaan ko lang pumatak ang luha ko sa mga eksenang naisin nitong pumatak. Naisip ko, ano mang katapusan ay nagdudulot naman talaga sa atin ng kalungkutan. Kapag may nagpaalam, pag-ibig na natapos, kaibigang lumayo o di kaya’y mahal sa buhay na pumanaw. Ang tema ng paghihiwalay ay laging nag iiwan ng kurot sa ating mga puso.

Kung ako ang iyong tatanungin, maganda ang pelikula. Kung may panahon ka, panoorin mo ito. Ito ay sumasalamin sa katotohanan, pagpapatawad, pagmamahal at pagtanggap --- sa sarili at sa kapwa, sa mga kahinaan at lakas, sa mga kalabisan at mga pagkukulang.

Sa kalagitnaan ng pelikula, naisip ko, anong buhay nga ba ang mas may kabuluhan? Ang batang tumatanda sa paglipas ng panahon o ang matandang bumabata habang tumatakbo ang oras? May pagkaka iba kaya? Mas marami bang maaaring matutunan ang isang taong bumabata kaysa sa isang taong nag kaka edad?

Ipinanganak si Benjamin Button na isang sanggol na animo’y may kung anong karamdaman. Ang itsura nya ay maihahalintulad sa isang taong may edad na 70. Namatay ang kanyang ina habang sya ay isinisilang. At dahil nga sa hindi pangkaraniwan ang kanyang itsura ay iniwan sya ng kanyang sariling ama sa hagdanan ng isang gusaling kumukupkop sa mga taong matatanda. Dalawang uri ng pagmamahal ang makikita natin dito.

Una, pagmamahal ng isang ina sa kanyang anak na sukdulang ibigay ang sariling buhay para lamang mailabas sya sa mundong ibabaw. Napakaganda ng sinabi ng ina ni Benjamin sa asawa nito, “Please make sure you keep him safe.” Hanggang sa huling hininga ng kanyang ina ay kapakanan pa ng kanyang anak ang kanyang iniisip. Sa eksenang ito, masasabi kong si Benjamin na marahil ang pinaka swerteng sanggol na ipinanganak.

Pangalawa, ay ang pagmamahal na ipinakita ng kanyang ama. Naisip ko, mahal nya kaya talaga ang kanyang anak? Ginawa nya kaya talaga kung ano ang sa tingin nya ay makabubuti para dito? Hindi naman nya ito pinatay, subalit hindi rin naman nya ito inalagaan. Ang sa akin lang, ang pagmamahal ay laging katuwang ng pagtanggap. Nakakalungkot isipin na ang sarili nyang ama ay hindi sya natanggap sa simula pa lang. Nakakalungkot na hindi sya binigyan ng pagkakataong mapatunayan kung ano ang kaya nyang gawin. Nakakalungkot na sya ay hinusgahan base sa panlabas na kaanyuan. Paano natin maaasahang maintindihan tayo ng lipunan kung ang sarili nating mga tahanan, na syang dapat magtuturo sa atin ng pangunawa at pagmamahal, ay agad na tayong tinalikuran?

Kung binasa ko ang librong “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” marahil ay nabagot ako. May mga eksena kse dito tungkol sa World War II. Ewan ko ba, pero hindi lang siguro talaga ako ganun kainteresado sa mga giyera at digmaan.

Sa pag unawa sa buhay, naisip kong hindi naman importante kung tumanda ka o bumabata habang nagtatagal. Ang importante ay natuto kang magbigay, magmahal, magpatawad at magparaya. Ang mahalaga ay bumabangon ka sa bawat pagkakadapa at natututong mangarap muli sa bawat pagkabigo.

Sa huli, tumatanda man ang isang tao o bumabata, ang lahat ay mauuwi rin naman sa pinaka pinal na yugto ng buhay --- kamatayan. Pero ano nga ba ang kamatayan? Isang katapusan? Hindi ba’t ito ay panibagong simula rin lang naman. Panibagong simula para sa namaalam at panibagong simula para sa kanyang mga naiwan.

Ang lahat ay totoong hiram lamang --- ang oras, pamilya, kaibigan, kalusugan, karunungan, kayamanan. Lahat, pagdating ng takdang oras ay kukuhanin din sa atin. Ang mahalaga ay natuto tayong pahalagahan ang lahat ng ito habang tayo ay nabubuhay. Ang mahalaga ay naibahagi natin sa iba ang mga biyayang sa atin ay ipinagkaloob. At higit na mahalaga ay natuto tayong igalang at mahalin ang ating mga sarili gayun din ang ating kapwa.

Komplikado ang buhay. Habang higit mo itong pilit na iniintindi ay lalo mo itong hindi naiintindihan. Naisip ko lang, kapag nilisan na kaya natin ang mundong ito, baon kaya natin ang ating mga alala o maging iyon ay kukunin din sa atin? Kung kuhanin ang lahat sa atin, dapat ba tayong maging malungkot o dapat ba tayong maging masaya dahil minsan ito ay sa atin?

Napaka hiwaga talaga ng buhay. Lahat ng ating pinagdadaanan ay nagmumulat sa atin sa mga panibagong katanungan na pilit naman nating hahanapan ng mga bagong kasagutan.

Sa huli, lahat naman ay mauuwi rin talaga sa pagmamahal. At pwede lang tayong mangarap na totoong mahal nga natin ang ating mga sarili, na mahal natin kung ano tayo ngayon --- bunga ng lahat ng ating mga pinagdaanan.Kung totoong mahal natin an gating mga sarili, magawi man tayo sa dulo ng walang hanggan, hindi na natin kailangan pang matakot dahil sat nay na pagmamahal maaari na tayong lumipad.

It's that time of year again... my birthday.

It's that time of year again, when I age a little more.
It's that time of year again, when I learn a snippet more.
It's that time of year again, when I mature a tad more.
It's that time of year again, when I appreciate a touch more.
It's that time of year again.

My birthday.

When I was younger, like any other child, I regarded birthdays as “the festival of the year”. I loved birthdays. It meant I could demand for presents from my parents. It meant cake and ice cream. It meant special treatment and my favourite food served for meals. I was a child and I was blissful.

Then I grew up.

Over the years, it seemed as though the value of my birthday, and birthdays in general, had diminished somewhat. I rarely received birthday presents from my friends as I progressed in high school, except for some gifts from a few best friends.

But on a lighter note ---- I guess to be fair --- God made my college days different as I received more gifts than I could ever wish for. I think I have developed some of the best friendships during that phase of my life. After I graduated from college and started working at People Support, I was fortunate enough to have been blessed with the opportunity to meet some wonderful souls --- people who made me feel special each year. My birthdays in People Support were awesome. My friends never fail to surprise me year after year after year.

But I’m not in People Support anymore. I am not in La Salle anymore. I don’t really expect much this year. I have prepared myself for the worst birthday ever. No presents, no cakes, no ice cream, no celebration. Don’t get me wrong though. I still expect to receive presents from my parents and brothers but only because they never missed to give me one every single year. I also have a handful of friends from outside the company whom I know will still surprise me with something unusual... those I look forward to. But other than that, I expected nothing else this year... not from the company I work for... not from my officemates.

If I was still the child I had been 15 years ago, I’d have thrown an emotional tantrum involving generous episodes of dramatic kicking and screaming and threats to jump out of the window. No birthday cake on such a glorious day? Blasphemy!

But I didn’t.

I realized it was because I simply stopped caring. There were a few consecutive years in the past, in which really horrible things happened on my birthday, or a few days before it. I spent my birthdays feeling miserable, wishing fervently that I had been blessed with a boring, ordinary day for my birthday instead. When you are put into situations which make you cry really badly all day, you actually don’t think about presents and celebrations. You’d give anything to be able to live a normal, routine day.

Which was exactly how I felt. It no longer mattered to me if nobody cared, if nobody remembered except my family and close friends. All I wanted was a normal, peaceful day and I’d be happy for another year.

No birthday cake? Not a problem, I’d just buy myself a slice of cake and eat it. No greetings? Well, who cares, they’re all busy people anyway, and it’s no different than wishing someone “good morning” every morning, except people only wish you “happy birthday” once a year.

My birthday was just a date to me, nothing more than a mechanical reminder that I had passed another milestone in life.

I was fine, and I was genuinely happy. I didn’t need anyone to remember, which was why I always tried to conceal my date of birth whenever anyone asked. I didn’t want people to make a fuss; I didn’t want them to go through any trouble just for me.

Today, Reich, Royce, Chester, Kei, Harlie, Reg, Tatty, LJ, Mac, AC, Pedz, Stlz, Bash, Wendell, Tyrone, Rowell, Mae, Pao, Russell, Vok, my whole Care Family, the entire Care FSS and the rest of my friends in management and support staff surprised me with a birthday cake when we were having dinner at the 31st floor pantry of PBCOM. Chester and I were singing “Just Once” --- part of the Customer Service week celebration --- when all of them showed up with a cake.

I stared at it for a while and the first thing I said was “Chester’s birthday?”

It was obviously not one of my more brilliant moments.

For the strangest reason I thought the cake was for my friend Chester who celebrated his birthday 6 days ago.

They all looked as though I had snorted green tea out of my nose.

“YOUR CAKE!”

Oh my. I honestly did not expect that. At that very moment I was looking at the most beautiful cake in the world, because it was a thoughtful gesture of sincerity and kindness in the spirit of friendship.

I have always suspected that I’ve grown up too quickly for my age, but today, when you guys went out of your way to get me a cake, when you had to relight the candle 10 thousand times because the air-conditioning kept on putting the flame out, when you guys took one million photos of me looking absolutely retarded, when you guys dictated how I should make my wish, when you made me remove the candle from the cake using my mouth, when we camwhored, when Chester had to slice the cake for me because I was such a noob at cutting cakes, when we shared the cake and laughed, when we had fun, I became a child again.

I was once again the child who loved and glorified birthdays. I was once again the little boy who squealed at the sight of cake. I was once again the kid who enjoyed birthdays.

Thank you for making my birthday meaningful again.

I love you guys.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Dreams.

Dreams are what people live for. Dreams are what people die for. Without dreams our existence would be but a meaningless joke played on us by indifferent powers.

Each day we conceive a multitude of dreams. Most of them we forget shortly after, others we discard as not possible on this world, but there are those precious few that we keep in our mind and mull over in hope of fulfilling them one day.

These dreams we bottle up and store away for the time being when their fulfilling will be possible. Much like wine, we put them with great care in the darkest corners of our souls, so that they won't disturb our every-day life, and sometimes forget about them --- to find them again at unexpected moments of life.

Why do we do that --- why not fulfilling them right away?

Who knows --- human beings are peculiar creatures. Maybe we are afraid to fail and get hurt. Maybe we are afraid that the fragile fabric of the dream will shatter on the cold face of reality. Or perhaps we believe that now is not the right moment and decide to wait for a more favorable time.

But storing dreams is a risky practice. Many times when we deem the moment appropriate, we dig the dream-bottle up, open it --- sometimes to share with others, sometimes to enjoy on our own --– and wait for a genie to come out and make the dream real, only to find out that the dream-wine has turned sour and is no longer fit for use, or that the bottle has been cracked and the dream has faded. At other times we shatter the bottle in our hurry, eagerness and inexperience and watch the precious substance spill and vaporize through our fingers, while we desperately try to cling to some of it.

And yet there are times when we manage to open the bottle and we offer to share the contents with another but find that this person prefers not to drink, or we find out that the dream has lost its appeal and is not what we thought of it at all --- after all, it has been a long while since we have seen the insides of that bottle.

At time like these, all you left to do is to realize that this dream is gone and a chapter of your life symbolized by that dream is closed. Life is constantly changing, eternally fluid and never stops in its tracks – and you have to adapt to its currents or be dragged underwater and fade away like smoke in strong wind. Find another dream, any dream, pursue it with fervor and do not let the momentary downfall put you on hold.

Dear friends of mine, I wish you to have no such moments of bitter realization –-- and if you cannot avoid it, may they be as few as possible and fleeting as such. Even in the darkest hour, remember that there are always those who are ready to aid you, if only you were to ask for their help.

Know that everything is for the best, after all, and shattered dreams may transform from mere illusions into something stronger and beneficial --- or give birth to altogether new things.

May each change prove easy on you.

A Love Letter to my Friends

I am your friend and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not got, but there is much, very much, that, while I cannot give it, you can take.

No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. Take heaven!

No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant. Take peace!

The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach is joy. There is radiance and glory in the darkness could we but see - and to see we have only to look. I beseech you to look!

Life is so generous a giver, but we, judging its gifts by the covering, cast them away as ugly, or heavy or hard. Remove the covering and you will find beneath it a living splendor, woven of love, by wisdom, with power.

Welcome it, grasp it, touch the angel's hand that brings it to you. Everything we call a trial, a sorrow, or a duty, believe me, that angel's hand is there, the gift is there, and the wonder of an overshadowing presence. Our joys, too, be not content with them as joys. They, too, conceal diviner gifts.

Life is so full of meaning and purpose, so full of beauty --- beneath its covering --- that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven.

Courage, then, to claim it, that is all. But courage you have, and the knowledge that we are all pilgrims together, wending through unknown country, home.

And so, at this time, I greet you. Not quite as the world sends greetings, but with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you now and forever, the day breaks, and the shadows flee away.

Set Yourself Free

Like a confused lost seagull out at sea
I wander through the streets
Like huge mazes of what makes up my life

Just as I think I have found my way
I am faced with yet another turn
Sometimes a dead end and I have to retrace my steps

It is the time to clean my thoughts of what I think is real
Look at life from a high and carried by the wind
Allowing me the freedom to fly

Set yourself free from anything that might hinder you in becoming the person you want to be. Free yourself from the uncertainties about your abilities or the worth of your dreams, from the fears that you may not be able to achieve them or that they won't be what you wanted.

Set yourself free from the past. The good things from yesterday are still yours in memory; the things you want to forget you will, for tomorrow is only a sunrise away. Free yourself from regret or guilt, and promise to live this day as fully as you can.

Set yourself free from the expectations of others, and never feel guilty or embarrassed if you do not live up to their standards. You are most important to yourself; live by what you feel is best and right for you. Others will come to respect your integrity and honesty.

Set yourself free to simply be yourself, and you will soar higher than you've ever dreamed.

Living with a Phantom Limb

They say that when people first lose a limb, they can still feel it. It still hurts, they still try to use it. They call it having a "Phantom Limb”.

I think that this is what losing a person is like. It’s like having a phantom limb.

You beckon them over to "come see this!", you come home at the end of the day to tell them about how much you hate going to work, you pick up the phone to call them when you're happy, sad, mad, or somewhere in between. Until you realize that they're not there.

And each time you realize it, it hurts just as bad as it did the first time, all over again.

Only an arm, I could lose. It's the people I care about the most that I can't live without.

When someone you love disappears, it's like the light goes dim, and you're in the shadows. You try to do what people tell you: put one foot in front of the other; keep looking up; give yourself over to the seconds and minutes and hours...

But always there's that glimmer of light --- that way of living you once knew --- sort of faded and smoky like the crescent moon on a winter's night when the air is full of ice and clouds, but still there, hanging just over your head.

Leaving? Well, that was easy.

It was everything else that was so damn hard.

Stumbling a little on my way out

You don't let people in. It's hard for you, and once you do, you don't want to let them go, and when they screw up, you're like, “Why did you do that to me? I gave you my feelings. I did everything for you; and you screwed me over.”

It felt complicated in the way that all breakups feel complicated when you're embroiled in them. While in cruel actuality, most are really quite simple. And it goes something like this: one person falls out of love --- or simply realizes that he was never really in love in the first place, wishing he could take back those words, that promise from the heart.

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And then there’s pain.

But you gradually get over the pain. Well, it doesn't go away, not for a long time, but it becomes easier to live with. One morning you wake up and he's not the first thing on your mind. And then a few months down the line you realize you've made it through half the day without thinking of him.

Sometimes it takes months, sometimes, years, but eventually you reach a point when you only think about them occasionally. You manage to do this because you don't see them, you don't hear about them, you try not to think about them. And then you bump into them walking down the street, or someone unexpected mentions their name... and the memories come flooding back.

But even memories also become less painful in time. I can talk about my previous relationships now without really feeling anything.

But I'd rather now.

If you know what I mean.

Conversations with God

Excerpt from the book:

Right and Wrong are Relative Terms

There’s nothing “wrong” with anything. “Wrong” is a relative term, indicating the opposite of that which you call “right.”

Yet, what is “right”? Can you be truly objective in these matters? Or are “right” and “wrong” simply descriptions overlaid on events and circumstances by you, out of your decision about them?

And what, pray tell, forms the basis of your decision? Your own experience? No. In most cases, you’ve chosen to accept someone else’s decision. Someone who came before you and, presumably, knows better. Very few of your daily decisions about what is “right” and “wrong” are being made by you, based on your understanding.

This is especially true on important matters. In fact, the more important the matter, the less you are likely to listen to your own experience, and the more ready you seem to be to make someone else’s ideas your own.

This explains why you've given up virtually total control over certain areas of your life, and certain questions that arise within the human experience.

These areas and questions very often include the subjects most vital for your soul: the nature of God; the nature of true morality; the question of ultimate reality; the issues of life and death surrounding war, medicine, abortion euthanasia, the whole sum and substance of personal values, structures, judgments. These most of you have abrogated, assigned to others. You don't want to make your own decisions about them.

“Someone else decide! I’ll go along, I’ll go along!” you shout. “Someone else just tell me what’s right and wrong!”

This is why, by the way, human religions are so popular. It almost doesn’t matter what the belief system is, as long as it’s firm, consistent, clear in its expectation of the follower, and rigid. Given those characteristics, you can find people who will believe in almost anything. The strangest behavior and belief can be—has been—attributed to God. It’s God’s way, they say. God’s word.

And there are those who will accept that. Gladly. Because, you see, it eliminates the need to think.

Thinking is hard. Making value judgments is difficult. It places you at pure creation, because there are so many times you’ll have to say, “I don’t know. I just don’t know.” Yet still you have to decide. And so you’ll have to choose. You’ll have to make an arbitrary choice.

Such a choice—a decision coming from no previous personal knowledge—is called pure creation. And the individual is aware, deeply aware, that in the making of such decisions is the Self created.

Most of you are not interested in such important work. Most of you would rather leave that to others. And so most of you are not self-created, but creatures of habit—other-created creatures.

Then when others have told you how you should feel, and it runs directly counter to how you do feel—you experience a deep inner conflict. Something deep inside you tells you that what others have told you is not Who You Are. Now where to go with that? What to do?

The first place you go to is your religionists—the people who put you there in the first place. You go to your priests and your rabbis and your ministers and your teachers, and they tell you to stop listening to your Self. The worst of them will try to scare you away from it; scare you away from what you intuitively know.

They’ll tell you about the devil, about Satan, about demons and evils spirits and hell and damnation and every frightening thing they can think of to get you to see how what you were intuitively knowing and feeling was wrong, and how they only place you’ll find any comfort is in their thought, their idea, their theology, their definitions of right and wrong, and their concept of Who You Are.

The seduction here is that all you have to do to get instant approval is to agree. Agree and you have instant approval. Some will even sing and shout and dance and wave their arms in hallelujah! That’s hard to resist. Such approval, such rejoicing that you have seen the light; that you’ve been saved!

Approvals and demonstrations seldom accompany inner decisions. Celebrations rarely surround choices to follow personal truth. In fact, quite the contrary. Not only may others fail to celebrate, they may actually subject you to ridicule. What? You’re thinking for yourself? You’re deciding on your own? You’re applying your own yardsticks, your own judgments, your own values? Who do you think you are, anyway? And indeed, that is precisely the question you are answering.

My take on it:

This book is perfect for those who are open minded and don't come to books (and life in general) with the attitude that you already have all the answers. Most people who swear by the bible haven't even read that much of it. Why? because society has ingrained and brainwashed and created their belief systems and then anything that contradicts their paradigm of the way the world is must be wrong and blasphemy.

This book is highly logical, very fair, many of the ideas are sound, interesting and make sense if thought about carefully. Many of the words don't just resonate as being true in the logical mind but in my soul. It covers deep topics with simple words that explain quite effectively the concepts. A combination most readers want. It emphasizes love over judgment and punishment which I believe God should be about.

If I were God would I set up a system by which it would be possible for my beloved children and created beings to suffer eternally? Would I not give them free will and in addition when they make mistakes always be forgiving and loving? Would I not make all my creations perfect? A perfect being cannot do imperfect things otherwise it would not be perfect. These concepts are covered in this book. I am not saying to accept everything Neale says as literal truth (nor does Neale actually), all I am saying is to think about the teachings and concepts in the book and even put them in to practice to see whether they work or not. Whether this book comes from God or not it is profound and interesting if you are a deep thinker and open-minded.

In the spiritual realm, according to this book and many other teachings, time does not exist. Everything is literally happening at once. Life, such as this one wherein we experience the passage of time, is simply the way we experience eternity in little bite sized chunks to examine and experience in minute detail. When we die, we simply return to the realm where time does not exist, and we can start over again if we choose. Upon reading this explanation I seem to have lost my fear of death, for it was so completely convincing when added to my current level of spiritual knowledge.

This book is a MUST read. It is literally the experience of a lifetime. I can't even put into words how much this book changed my life. It will answer any questions you've ever had regarding, God, love, life, death, afterlife, work, money, politics, etc. I have bought several copies and given them out to everyone I know. I guarantee that anyone who reads this will be touched.

In this book, I have found the answers that my soul longed for, leading to a complete and absolute epiphany. Walsch wrote the words I have always thought, but never dared to mutter, not even to my most trusted friends.

At first I found his context, an actual conversation with God, to be unsettling. After recovering from this shock, I found this work to be the best book I have ever read, and re-read.

Excess:

I warn you, unless you are genuinely looking for answers, unless you are prepared to view your existence in an unfamiliar manner and unless you want to be liberated from the plague of this planet disguised as the dogma of organized religion, don't buy this book!

Unnecessary knowledge you don’t really need to know

1. the average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

2. It would take 1.2 million mosquitoes biting you simultaneously to drain all your blood.

3. There is One AK-47 for every Nine people on Earth.

4. In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles.

5. Americans, on average, spend 18% of his or her income on transportation as compared to only 13% spent on food.

6. There is 293 different ways to give back change on a dollar.

7. Squirrels cannot contract rabies.

8. 1 out of 350,000 Americans get electrocuted in their life.

9. Close to 73% of girls in Bangladesh are married by age 18.

10. 50% of female polar bears also have a penis.

11. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

12. There are more pigs than humans in Denmark.

13. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

14. The brain continues sending electrical wave signals for 37 hours after death.

15. The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

Miss Universe Winners from 1952 to 2007

MISS UNIVERSE TITLE HOLDERS:

1952 Armi Kuusela (Finland)

1953 Christiane Martel (France)

1954 Miriam Stevenson (USA)

1955 Hellevi Rombin (Sweden)

1956 Carol Morris (USA)

1957 Gladys Zender (Peru)

1958 Luz Marina Zuluaga (Colombia)

1959 Akiko Kojima (Japan)

1960 Linda Bement (USA)

1961 Marlene Schmidt (Germany)

1962 Norma Nolan (Argentina)

1963 Idea Maria Vargas (Brazil)

1964 Corinna Tsopei (Greece)

1965 Apasra Hongsakula (Thailand)

1966 Margareta Arvidsson (Sweden)

1967 Sylvia Hitchcock (USA)

1968 Martha Vasconcellos (Brazil)

1969 Gloria Diaz (Philippines)

1970 Marisol Malaret (Puerto Rico)

1971 Georgia Risk (Lebanon)

1972 Kerry Anne Wells (Australia)

1973 Margarita Moran (Philippines)

1974 Amparo Munoz (Spain)

1975 Anne Marie Puhtamo (Finland)

1976 Rina Messinger (Israel)

1977 Janelle Commissiong (Trinidad/Tobago)

1978 Margaret Gardiner (South Africa)

1979 Maritza Sayalero (Venezuela)

1980 Shawn Weatherly (USA)

1981 Irene Saez (Venezuela)

1982 Karen Baldwin (Canada)

1983 Lorraine Downes (New Zealand)

1984 Yvonne Ryding (Sweden)

1985 Deborah Carthy-Deu (Puerto Rico)

1986 Barbara Palacios Teyde (Venezuela)

1987 Cecilia Bolocco (Chile)

1988 Porntip Nakhirunkanok (Thailand)

1989 Angela Visser (Holland)

1990 Mona Grudt (Norway)

1991 Lupita Jones (Mexico)

1992 Michelle McLean (Namibia)

1993 Dayanara Torres (Puerto Rico)

1994 Sushmita Sen (India)

1995 Chelsi Smith (USA)

1996 Alicia Machado (Venezuela)

1997 Brook Lee (USA)

1998 Wendy Fitzwilliam (Trinidad-Tobago)

1999 Mbule Kwelagobe (Botswana)

2000 Lara Dutta (India)

2001 Denise Quinones (Puerto Rico)

2002 Oksana Fyodorova (Russia)

*2002 Justine Pasek (Panama)

2003 Amelia Vega Polanco (Dominican Republic)

2004 Jennifer Hawkins (Australia)

2005 Natalie Glebova (Canada)

2006 Zuleyka Rivera (Puerto Rico)

2007 Riyo Mori (Japan)

*dethroned

Top 10 Countries with most number of wins and runner-ups

1. USA - Wins: 7; 1stRU: 8; 2ndRU: 6

2. Puerto Rico - Wins: 5; 1stRU: 1; 2ndRU: 2

3. Venezuela - Wins: 4; 1stRU: 6; 2ndRU: 5

4. Sweden - Wins: 3; 1stRU: 1; 2ndRU: 2

5. Brazil - Wins: 2; 1stRU: 5; 2ndRU: 0

6. Finland - Wins: 2; 1stRU: 3; 2ndRU: 5

7. Australia - Wins: 2; 1stRU: 2; 2ndRU: 1

8. Japan - Wins: 2; 1stRU: 1; 2ndRU: 1

9. India - Wins: 2; 1stRU: 1; 2ndRU: 1

10. Canada - Wins: 2; 1stRU: 1; 2ndRU: 1

Philippines

The Philippines won the title twice. The first time was in 1969 courtesy of Gloria Diaz and the second time was in 1973 courtesy of Margarita Moran. Mirriam Quiambao almost won the title in 1999 where she ended up 1st runner-up. The late Chat Silayan won 3rd runner-up in 1980. Desiree Verdadero won 3rd runner-up in 1984. Chiqui Brosas won 4th runner-up in 1975.

Special Awards

The Philippines has won the Miss Photogenic award seven times (including a back-to-back and a three-peat), followed by the UK and Puerto Rico, both with five. Puerto Rico won its five awards during a six-year period (1999-2004, did not win in 2000).

Colombia has won the Best National Costume Award six times.

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Guam has won the Miss Congeniality award four times.

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No Miss Congeniality has ever gone on to win Miss Universe. The closest was Miss El Salvador 1955, who was 1st runner-up.

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The only Miss Universe to win 3 other awards on pageant night was Denise Quiñones (Miss Puerto Rico), who in 2001 also won Miss Photogenic, Bluepoint Swimsuit Award, and Clairol Best Style Award.

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Four Miss Universe winners were awarded Miss Photogenic: Margareta Arvidsson (Sweden, 1966), Margarita Moran (Philippines, 1973), Janelle Commissiong (Trinidad/Tobago, 1977) and Denise Quiñones (Puerto Rico, 2001)
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Three titleholders have also won Best National Costume: Porntip Nakhirunkanok (Thailand, 1988), Wendy Fitzwilliams (Trinidad/Tobago, 1998) and Amelia Vega (Dominican Republic, 2003)