USAPANG POPPERS

Sabihin nyo ng tanga ako o inosente pero hindi ko talaga alam kung ano yung poppers. Nakakatuwang isipin na umabot ako sa ganitong edad ng hindi alam kung para saan ito. Kung kaya naman nung nag text ang kaibigan ko ng ganito:

Him: Hey, are you free tonight?

Me: Yeah, why, what’s up?

Him: Poppers tayo?

Me: Sure.

Dahil ayoko namang itanong pa kung ano yun, nag yes na lang ako. Buti na lang at natagalan ako sa gym noong araw na yun kaya hindi naman natuloy ang dapat sana ay pagkikita namin.

Habang kinakalikot ko ang gym bag ng aking kaibigan (hindi ko na babanggitin ang pangalan nya dahil lumabas sya ngayon sa mga indie films), nakita ko nang isang maliit na bote. Malay ko ba naman kung ano yun. Kaya, tinanong ko sya:

Me: Dude ano ‘to?

Him: Wala yan.

Me: Eh bakit dala dala mo? Ano bang laman nyan?

Him: Wala nga yan, dami mong tanong.

Me: Eh magtatanong ba ako kung alam ko.

Him: Poppers yan.

Me: Huh? Eto ba yung poppers?

Him: Oo, wag mo sabihing hindi mo alam.

Me: Ang kulit mo. Ang sakit mo sa bangs. Itatanong ko ba kung alam ko? Drugs bay an?

Him: Parang.

Me: Meron bang ganun. Parang drugs pero parang hindi?

Him: Oo. Yan.

Me: Para saan ba yan?

Him: Ginagamit yan kapag nakikipag sex, para madali ang penetration.

Me: Huh? Diba nga mas masarap yung mahirap i-penetrate?

Him: Para mabilis.

Me: Nagmamadali ba kayo? May lakad ka?

Him: Adik!

Me: Ikaw ang nag du-drugs ako pa ang adik.

Him: Hindi nga drugs yan.

Me: Oo, parang drugs lang.

Him: Kse ang effect nyan mag rerelax yung anal sphincter mo.

Me: Bakit? Tense ba?

Him: Wala kang kwentang kausap bro.

Me: Bakit nga kailangan i-relax? Tense ba? Bakit ka naman matetense makipag sex?

Him: Eh masikip pa ko noh.

Me: Kung madalas mong gagamitin ‘to, edi luluwag ka din nun.

Him: At least hindi ako nasaktan.

Me: Eventually, hindi mo na din mararamdaman.

Him: Wag mo nga akong guluhin.

Me: Alam mo kseng mali. Diba mas masarap yung nararamdaman mo.

Him: Oo.

Me: See.

Him: Eh masakit nga kse.

Me: Kung nasasaktan ka edi wag ka na magpa bottom. Dude ang laki laki ng katawan mo noh.

Him: Wala naman sa body built yun eh. Tsaka gusto ng lover ko.

Me: Lover? Akala ko ba single ka? Eh, gusto mo din naman yun diba?

Him: Hindi.

Me: So ginagawa mo lang yan para sa kanya? Wag ka ngang sinungaling.

Him: Syempre nag eenjoy din ako dun.

Me: Kita mo na. Eh bakit pa kailangan ng poppers? Hindi ka ba mage enjoy kung wala nun?

Him: Masakit nga.

Me: Kung hindi mo na nararamdaman na pina fuck ka nya, pano ka mage enjoy nun?

Him: Sya, nag eenjoy sya.

Me: Edi para nga yan sa kanya.

Him: Siguro.

Me: Wala bang side effects yan?

Him: Wala naman siguro.

Me: So hindi ka sure?

Him: Hindi.

Me: Ginagamit mo pero hindi mo alam. Mapapahamak ka nyan eh. Hindi ka man lang nag research? Importanteng alam mo ang side effects ng long term use nyan. Hindi naman pwedeng mag enjoy ka lang ngayon tapos deal with the consequences later.

Him: Bakit ka ba nakiki alam?

Me: Coz I care about you.

Him: Kse you like me?

Me: Ang sakit mo sa bangs ha. Sino ba kseng nagturo syo nyan?

Him: Yung na meet ko sa isang bar.

Me: Wow, how convenient. Isang gabi mo lang nakilala, pinagkatiwalaan mo na kagad.

Him: Eh, nag work naman eh. Tsaka ginagamit din nung isang gym mate ko eh.

Me: Bottom din sya?

Him: Hindi. Pinapagamit nya sa mga one night stands nya.

Me: So idol mo sya?

Him: Bakit nga kse, ano bang problema? Kung may side effects edi meron.

Me: Ikaw bahala, basta ako pinagsabihan kita ha.

Him: Bakit ba ang bait bait mo sa kin?

Me: Mabait ako sa lahat.

Him: Parang hindi naman.

Me: I want you here for a long time. That’s why I want you safe.

Him: Keep me safe.

May SEB ka na naman?

FYI. This is for the sake of argument.

You might say that I just contradicted myself. How can you be honorable by sleeping around? How can there be honor in an act of self-deprecation?

Well, as I said, I didn't want to cheat. I never want to cheat. I never cheated any of my boyfriends before (at least they never caught me, hahaha.) But seriously, I’ve never done that. I will never do that. And I have no plans of doing it for the next 45 minutes...

BUT.

And that's a big BUT right there, pardon the pun. Haha. I'm single now. And let's not kid ourselves. A lot of people are looking just to get laid. And note that the percentage of bi-males doing this is increasing with time.

I am a turd. Hahaha! I know.

The thing is... not all bi-males are joining this bandwagon I’m discussing. And the difference between an honorable dude fucking around and a jerk fucking around is knowing your limitations. Know your boundaries. Know your role.

Hear me, dre? You smell what I’m cooking?

Some guys are willing to play. Sniff them out. And like an HONORABLE fisher, throw back the fish you can't really eat.

Learn it.

Absorb it.

Stick it up your cross-minded ass.

Oh, and I don’t do one night stands.... two nights maybe... hahaha... kidding...

Interested? PM me, serious takers only (God I always see that in guys profiles... hahaha). I am so dead.

LOL.

What is gender and why the hell does it matter?

What is gender?

If we consult Webster’s College Edition of 1983, the dictionary gives two definitions.

The first definition is purely grammatical.

Gender is a system in certain languages of classifying nouns and, the dictionary asserts, for the most part has nothing to do with “male” or “female”—never mind that in French, all long, cylindrical and/or pointed objects are masculine.

The second definition is as follows verbatim: “[Colloq.] sex.”

The problem with this definition is that it makes the assumption that a person’s gender identity is equated with having certain genetalia. Biology does not determine destiny. There are men with vaginas, women with penises, and people all over the gender spectrum with every which reproductive organ, a lot of whom don’t feel a need to obtain surgery to change their bodies. Your genetalia do not automatically determine your gender, and not everyone feels a need to expunge from their bodies organs traditionally associated with another gender.

In her memoir Gender Outlaw, Kate Bornstein writes of her own surgery, “I didn’t hate my penis because I was a woman; I hated it because [in the world’s eyes] it made me a man.”

Another problem with a definition of gender as “sex” lies in the first definition the same dictionary gives to “sex”: 1. Either of two divisions, male or female.

A definition of gender as “sex” makes a further assumption that there are only two possible genders: male and female (or man and woman, if you prefer).

However, not everyone fits into this neat binary system. Writer Kate Bornstein advocates an end to calling gender “sex” altogether in Gender Outlaw and writes, “Don’t call it ‘biological sex’ or social gender. Don’t call it ‘sex’ at all --- sex is fucking; gender is everything else.”

A lot of people (myself included) don’t identify as either gender of the dominant binary system. Some of us call ourselves androgynous or genderqueer; others simply stand under the transgender* umbrella or make up new terms for our genders.

I call myself gender-indifferent because I am not concerned with presenting myself as a gender, and I am far more concerned with presenting myself as a person. I wear board shorts because I like them, not to present myself as a man; I wear fitted jeans because I like them, not to present myself as a woman.

A person’s gender is built on presentation. If your actions and behaviors have said to the world “I am a woman” and you agree, you have successfully presented yourself as a woman. If your actions and behaviors have said to the world “I am a man” and you agree, you have successfully presented yourself as man.

The same is true for all other genders, although it’s considerably more difficult to keep most people from wondering, “What’s in that person’s pants?” (As if it mattered.)

For those of us who don’t bother presenting ourselves as a gender, we have a voice in American musician Patti Smith: “As far as I’m concerned, being any gender is a drag.”

One-Night-Stand

I’m not looking for sex. Hell no. I cannot sleep with someone I don't love.

I enjoy foreplay, gibberish, pillow talks, cuddling more than the real thing. And the reason I said if I sleep with you, will you love me is because I understand bi-guys lately have been so hooked to it they follow the sex first before anything rule.

Much as I abhor that, I cannot but just ask ok, if I sleep with you, will you love me?

DO NOT GET ME WRONG! IM NO HOE! I'M THE HOPELESS ROMANTIC TYPE who feels the heart first before the skin!

Again, I’m looking for good-looking/younger/ boyish/maamo/ innocent-looking bi-guys who are into relationships, who could possibly love me after the night is over.

I do not want to wake up alone. No players please. No invites for one-night-stand --- this all just saddens me with the thought that people have frog leaped into intolerable wanton.

PLEASE!!!!!