PENIS FACTS

Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons
Wait just a damn minute! You mean he breathes that damn hard for 2 teaspoons?? Oh and I gotta be down there THAT long just for that?! damn!

Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
He must be working on that 2 teaspoon thingy

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000
...a week maybe, LOL

Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour
Ok.... like I'd kill to see the speedometer they used for this test. Hahaha. That’s funny and fast.

Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7
Quick! Someone call Oprah!! Here’s a fat free diet I bet she hasn't tried!

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches
Well well well...Mr... Happy ain't looking so damn happy right now is he??

Average length when erect: 5.1
Damn!!that's not very encouraging! Why there has to be a mistake here ... cause all the guys on G4M say theirs is 10 inches! Someboooooodys lying!!!!!

Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch
I think I've dated him... LAUGHS LOUDLY:

Largest natural penis recorded: 11 inches
Wonder where I can write to this guy?? Like just what exactly is a "natural" penis??

Percentage of men who say they masturbate: 60%
Well.... we know they didn't take this poll on Multiply... now did they? LOL.

Percentage of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%
This is the percentage of men NOT on G4M… LOL

Percentage of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%
Guilt??? WTF is that? Honey your dewin it wrong.

Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 minutes to 2 weeks
2 weeks? Guess he needs VIAGRA!! Ackkkkk 2 weeks??? 2 weeks?? You don't need Viagra you need a transplant!

Average # of erections per day for a man: 11
....during one hour of Queer As Folk… LOL

Average # of erections during the night: 9
....I wanna know who stayed awake and counted! Hahahaha…

Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches
Does this including the dude with the 5/8 inch pee pee too? Hehehe

The human equivalent: 26 miles
26 miles and they can still make a baby, damn I am impressed

Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie
And to think I thought it was that cute little Victoria Secrets number

Yes, the penis does shrink in the shower...
...unless its showering with a Friend!! Like who the hell is chasing all these penis's around with a ruler?

*wink*