There is something wrong with me.
Seriously, I used to be able to get all sorts of stuff done each day and still have time, most days, to relax afterwards. In fact there were some days when I could just lay around, read, watch TV, or whatever, sometimes to the extent that I'd actually get bored and wonder just exactly what I could do with my time. Those days are gone, though, and something must be wrong with me because I sure don't understand what could have changed about the world to make this so.
Sure, when I look at it closely there are some things that are different. The biggest is the Internet. I spend a lot of time surfing and reading on the net, usually in the night once my shift starts and ends not until the morning of the next day. (Hey I work graveyard, =) that would explain it. LOL.) That probably accounts for at least 3 hours a day and more like nine hours a day. Still, it seems I should have more time.
Maybe television should be blamed, but realistically I probably watched as much TV as a kid as now - at least as far as shows I watch with dedication every week. I don't count just having the TV on to watch something in the background. I easily admit that the TV is on much more often now than as a kid, largely due to the varied offerings of cable, but I don't see this as sucking away my time. I can take TV or leave it.
I also see myself losing time because of some of my obsessive-compulsive activities. Really, though, these things are more disconcerting than they are really consumers of time - they bother me more that I have them and can't avoid them than they bother me because they consume a whole lot of time.
Yes, they take up time from my day, but not a lot, and certainly they rarely keep me from doing something else. I expect I lose maybe an hour a day from this sort of behavior, maybe more on some days, but that's still not a huge dent in my available time.
The biggest difference between now and those "olden days" when I used to feel like I had more time, is that I'm older. Huhuhuh. I am 23 already. Yes, being in my early twenties has made me, physically, slow down a bit. ( Excuses!! =) LOL).
Some of that's due to the effects of age and some is due to being out of shape and some is due to the fact that I do not have an inspiration to do anything, but the effect is the same - I don't have the energy to move and do the things I love to do. But not having energy doesn't seem to equate with not having time. It's not like I sleep more because I have less energy. I may even sleep less now than when I was a kid, actually. Getting older seems like the biggest issue, but I can't see how it really makes any difference.
And really, I can't find any reason at all that I don't feel like I have any time to relax - or even enough time to do what needs to be done. I wonder if it will always be this way? Will I retire, sometime around being 80 or something, and find once again that I have all sorts of time on my hands, or will I still be struggling to keep up with all that has to be done.
I certainly hope that by then, or more hopefully well before then, that I can find extra time in the day to wind down and enjoy myself. I need to make up for a lot of such lost time, and I'm looking forward to having it again.
