Sadness envelopes me. I am alone.I have always fashioned myself as a knight in shining armor. I've always thought that I make a difference in people's lives. I have friends who come up to me to say thanks... I receive numerous personal messages here in multiply telling me how much I inspire them to be better individuals... to look forward to the future with hope in their hearts and smile on their faces... that I had made a change or affected it somehow.
But I always end up feeling alone.
I always feel miserable... and alone.
I am a dreamer. However, as one of my most favorite writers would say --- "Few are the dreams that can exist in the harsh light of day."
Dreams die...
Mine have withered away.
Sometimes, I talk to my God and say, "I am your servant and your tool, O' Lord. Do with me as You please."
And when I make a difference in someone's life, I always end up smiling. I smile because in some way, I see a faint glimmer of what I want to happen in my life. I want to see change. I need to have someone take time out and make me feel that I am important. That I matter. That out of all the insignificant grains of sand, I outshine most, if only even for a second.
Sometimes, this superman needs saving too.
