My Little Walled Heart

I built walls around myself, tight, closed in walls, so it's like a real small room.

And I put in a door to my small room that I lived in. And every now and then I allowed someone to come in and stay for a time.

Once I let them come in it meant that they had a piece of my heart. That for that time I cared for them and loved them.

During that time they had the power to make me happy and they had the power to make me sad. But, after a while, I would make them leave my small room. And once they exited they were gone. They no longer held their power to bring me joy and they no longer had the power to sadden me.

It was done.

Complete.

Of course I allowed some to simply stay. They came and they didn't leave. I didn't want them too. I enjoyed having them in my little walled in heart and I wanted them to stay. These people made things good for me. They added to me. And I cared for them. They brought me laughter and tears. They fill in the walls around my heart with happiness and love.

I want them there. I want them in my heart for always.

I care about these people so very much and I know I always will.

Marvin Analyzed

Where my soul originated:

You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal blue water, near the sea is where you belong.

Marvin, definition: The Progressive, Unconventional, Determined Freedom Fighter

While the name Marvin creates the urge to be creative and original, we emphasize that it causes a restless intensity that defies relaxation.

This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the solar plexus, and tension or accidents to the head.

Your first name of Marvin has given you a quick, analytical mind…

You are creative, versatile, and imaginative. However, independence, positivity and the urge for action and progress are such strong forces in your nature that you find it difficult to control them.

You feel happy as long as headway is being made, but as soon as you are obstructed or your individuality and freedom of action are restricted, you experience an intense nervous reaction.

Moods of depression can result during which you become sarcastic and stubborn in your attitude toward everyone, especially to those in closest association with you.

This is a name that produces a great deal of emotional adrenaline and hyperactivity. It may not be appropriate for a naturally restless individual.

Health: D
Financial Potential: A
Professional/Job Success: A
Relationship/Compatibility: D
Charisma/Sex Appeal: B+
Communication Ability: B-

The influence is primarily masculine whether this name is used for a female or male.

Gump & Company, Forrest Gump sequel?

It worked for 1976 Best Picture winner Rocky, so who knows? Maybe a sequel to the 1994 Oscar champ isn't such a crazy idea after all.

Forrest Gump may help illuminate more of 20th Century history. DarkHorizons.com reports producers Steve Tisch and Wendy Finerman are reconsidering the script for Gump & Company, a sequel to Forrest Gump.

The script was written six years ago by Eric Roth, but ended up on the shelf, while Forrest Gump's creator, novelist Wilson Groom, worked out disputes over royalties from the original film adaptation. Now that the issue is settled, Gump may run again.

The storyline is set to pick up several years after the end of the first film. Gump's shrimp fishery has gone out of business, and Forrest will be an unemployed single father who somehow manages to be at the center of the most important historical events, this time of the 80's and 90s. Apparently the storyline even has him meeting an actor by the name of Tom Hanks.

Hanks and Gary Sinese are part of the planning, but no decisions have been made as to whether the sequel will be made, and if it is, who will star.

Waiting in vain

So it's been a little over 3 months now since that fateful day where my life turned upside down and that which I held as a constant suddenly became far too unsteady. Though I try to mask my uncertainty in a veil of confidence, at times like these, I can't help but wonder where I go from here.

If three weeks ago you had held up to me the freedom I now have, I would have very seriously considered grasping at it. And yet now here I am such a short time later with the very thing I used to desire, and all the feelings I once had have vanished. Freedom is no good when the desire to use it is lost.

I struggle with where I'm supposed to head from here. I want a monogamous relationship with someone, and nothing is holding me back from it, but yet any relationship I get into will surely be unable to escape the fact that I don't want another boyfriend. In my heart there is room for but one boy, and though he has chosen to vacate at present his place remains.

In a way everything has changed, and yet nothing has changed. Protocol no longer binds me, but my heart refuses to move on.

If I were assured the fortune of my wait, I would endure it joyfully. I am confident, yet insecure. I want that which I had, and yet I have no way to assure myself that it is something I can reacquire. What if it isn't, and I spend my time here in vain, waiting patiently for that which will never be mine?

I hate not knowing. I hate not being able to reach out and affect the situation. I hate that nothing will change for months. I hate not being able to just sit down with him, and let his confusion and insecurity drain away. I hate the separation. I hate not being able to think, "That boy loves me, and one day he's going to marry me."

What is it that says things have to be this way? Is the situation really so dire that being apart is the only course of action? Why can't we work through this together, helping each other and supporting each other as we grow and change? Change is not something to be scared of; it's something to embrace. Of course we'll change, and be much better as a result. Was our relationship so tenuous that it could only survive if we had stayed exactly as we were?

Where do I go from here? Do I hold out in my confidence, sure that what we had is what I really believed it to be? Do I move on? Can the two mix? Is it possible to move on while holding out? What would that be? How could I possibly embrace one person while in my heart holding a spot for another? How is that fair to any party involved?

In my insecurity I find solace in facts. Fact: I am in love with an amazing boy. Fact: I believe we're meant to be together. Fact: I believe that despite his confusion he'll be able to find nothing to compare with what we had.

Time progresses. People change. Situations change. Confidence waivers. Only my feelings remain.

They will remain forever.

My Local Celebrity look-alike

My Celebrity look-alikes

Strangers in the Background

Have you ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background?

Looking at this picture with my friend Mitch (taken at 6780 building, parking lot) made me wonder how many strangers have pictures of me...

How many moments of other people's lives we've been in...

Were we a part of a stranger's life when their dreams came true? Or were we there when their dreams died?

Did we keep trying to get in --- as if we were destined to be there? Or did the shot take us by surprise?

Just think, you, me, we could all be a big part of someone else's life and not even know it.

Makes me think...

Walt Disney's First Black Princess

The Walt Disney Co. has started production on an animated musical fairy tale called "The Frog Princess," which will be set in New Orleans and feature the Walt Disney Studio's first black princess.

The company unveiled the plans Thursday at its annual shareholders' meeting in New Orleans.

John Lasseter, chief creative officer for Disney and the Disney-owned unit Pixar Animation Studios, said the movie would return to the classic hand-drawn animation process, instead of using computer animation that has become the industry standard. He called the film "an American fairy tale."

"The film's New Orleans setting and strong princess character give the film lots of excitement and texture," Walt Disney Studios Chairman Dick Cook said.

The movie will be scored by Randy Newman, who also wrote the music for Disney's "Toy Story," "A Bug's Life" "Toy Story 2," "Monsters, Inc." and "Cars."

Newman performed a song from the score for the shareholders.

John Musker and Ron Clements, who co-directed "The Little Mermaid" "Aladdin," and "Hercules" will co-direct the movie. The pair also wrote the story for the film.

Disney said its new animated princess Maddy will be added to its collection of animated princesses used at the company's theme parks and on consumer products.