Puerto Galera Trip

It was like I'd left behind something in Puerto Galera besides the ten pounds I gained in a span of three days and two nights stay in that island --- the strenuous but thrilling banana boat my friends and I had; the numerous yosi I puffed; the several shots of margarita and comfort zone I drowned myself with; the breath-taking beach and sand; the mouthwatering guys hehehe este foods and desserts pala; the various people I met; the guys I chatted with; the henna tattoo on my arm; and the heart-pounding nerve-wracking ferry trip back home.

Some invisible part of my brain forgotten on a shelf somewhere, some key ingredient to navigating the world abandoned in that cozy hotel room, in that 3-storey lodge.

I didn't even know how to look for what was gone, how to recognize it if I found it. How to ask for help.

But I didn't want to be better than anyone...

I just wanted to be me.

And, yes, I wanted to show up, to be noticed. But inside some of me still wanted desperately to disappear. Of course that's what had gotten me to Puerto Galera in the first place: trying to disappear.

Then each morning I woke up to the blinding Galera sunlight and thought I was a little boy in my bed at home again, that my father would come and wake me at any minute. And then, slowly, I blinked awake to the ceiling tiles and the scuffed wood floor, the chrome-rimmed bed and the hum of the room, and realized that I'd grown up.

But it was just one more thing. One more way the days would form and even at the bottom of everything I was, I just didn't care that much right then.

It was all about one more day and just for now and every other cliché in the world. It was all about waking and eating and running and sleeping. And it was about getting through to the next day... all of it even, nobody would hurt me.

I’m still alive, though I still wasn't sure I wanted to be.

Fabricated stories

Honesty and simply being truthful seem, on the surface, to be one and the same concept. However, though they are closely related in definition and are in fact listed as synonyms, there are fundamental differences between the two.

Truthfulness is defined as "consistently telling the truth, honest" in The American Dictionary, which also defines honesty as "the capacity or condition of being honest; integrity; trustworthiness." Honest means "not lying, cheating or taking unfair advantage." So what does that mean?

The definitions are nearly identical, so one must turn to the connotations.

Truthfulness is the more basic of the two, it implies, as the definition says, speaking the truth predictably. If one is truthful, one tells the truth when asked a question. One does not spread lies, and one faces reality as it is.

However, it is possible to be truthful and still not be trustworthy. If someone tells everything he knows when asked the smallest question, would you want to trust that person with an important secret? Likewise, someone can be truthful and still not be lawful, or entirely in the "right." For instance, someone could be involved in something illegal, and, when asked about it, could tell the truth up to a point. The person in question would be consistently telling the truth, but it would not be the whole truth.

Honesty is a somewhat more complex idea that covers a broader range of requirements. Honesty is truthful, reliable, trustworthy, and open. It encompasses the virtues of truthfulness without the gaps.

Being honest implies that you are willing to tell the truth at cost of personal risk. It implies being open and truthful no matter the conditions one faces. Real honesty means telling the truth out of respect for others and for oneself. Someone who is honest does not necessarily have to be asked in order to tell the truth; it is their standard of conduct and communication.

Of the two qualities, honesty is the more admirable because it is harder to both attain and maintain. Still, honesty cannot exist without truthfulness, for what is someone who has openness, reliability and trustworthiness but is without the ability to tell the truth? The answer is someone who can be trusted to lie openly.

However, while we try to develop that important quality of honesty, it is important to remember that honesty stems from respect for others, and that includes respect for their feelings.

Real honesty includes truthful tact. Honesty speaks for one's character and improves relationships with others.

I am the Island... I am not the rock

A long time ago, in a land and situations far, far away, I wrote of our story. No longer am I the washed; I am now the island.

The tumultuous world washes around me. I am dashed, battered, and abused. The waves of depression and loss sweep around me. They strive to break me; to eat away the foundation upon which I stand. At times they flood over me, burying me in their turbulence.

Yet they are only moments...

I cling to my support while submerged, confident in its ability to hold me steady and guide me back to the light of surface...

I cannot breathe, yet I maintain belief in the temporal nature of that which assails me.

I have been promised that I will be subjected to nothing that I cannot bear. I look around; see my torment, and say, "My God! The confidence You must have in me to subject me to so great a foe!" The greater my torment, the greater my hope, for my Lord does not make promises he does not keep.

And thus I am thankful for the billowing waves.

I am thankful for trial.

I look beyond my struggles; I gaze through them to the promise they wish to obscure.

I am the island. I am not the rock, I am but frail. Yet the rock is my foundation, and to Him I will cling.

Lenten thoughts

I asked God why I wasn't rich. He showed me a man with the wealth of a thousand kings, who was lonely, and had no one to share it with.

I asked God why I wasn't beautiful. He showed me a woman more beautiful than any other, who was ugly because of her vanity.

I asked God why He'd allowed me to become old. He showed me a boy of 16, who lay dead at the scene of a car accident.

I asked God why I didn't have a bigger house. He showed me a family of six, who had just been evicted from their tiny shack, and were forced, to live on the street.

I asked God why I had to work. He showed me a man, who couldn't find a decent job, because he'd never learned to read.

I asked God why I wasn't more popular. He showed me a socialite with a thousand friends, who all left the moment the money and parties were no longer there.

I asked God why I wasn't smarter. He showed me a natural born genius, serving life in prison for making ill use of his knowledge.

I asked God why He put up with a thankless sinner like me. He showed me His Bible. He showed me His Son who took my place at the judgment.

I knew then how much He loved me.

What's eating you today?

Are your problems weighing heavy on your heart?

Know, then, that you are loved.

If it doesn't kill you... it will make you stronger.

Critical Criticisms

It is easy to get angry with those who criticize you. But it is better to listen and to consider what they have to say.

If the criticism is completely misdirected and unfounded, then you can simply let it go. Yet often it can be valuable and productive to objectively consider what your critics are thinking.

The worst response to criticism is to become angry, insulted and defensive. For by doing so, you actually give more power and credibility to that criticism.

Instead, listen carefully and appreciatively to what your critics have to say. Even if the criticism is decidedly negative, somewhere there are positive insights that you can gain from it.

Don't let your ego prevent you from learning something valuable. Being receptive to criticism strengthens your confidence and can improve your competence.

Choose to know and understand what others think of you. Instead of getting angry and defensive over the words of others, choose to listen, consider and grow stronger because of them.

Find Me Soon

My name is Marvin.

I'm a senior supervisor at People Support Inc.

I go to the gym every after shift --- at least I used to. I have an amazing partner --- at least I used to. And I have a best friend.

6780 building is just a place somewhere in the world, somewhere in Makati to be exact. Maybe it's a lot like your world, maybe it's nothing like it.

But if you look closer, you might see someone like you.

Someone trying to find their way. Someone trying to find their place. Someone trying to find their self.

Sometimes it seems like you are the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, unsatisfied, barely getting by.

But that feeling's a lie.

And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay.

Because we all need a little help sometimes --- someone to help us hear the music in their world, to remind us that it won't always be this way.

That someone is out there.

And that someone will find you.

How Many Text Messages are Sent in the Philippines Daily?

If we’re to believe PLDT President and CEO Napoleon L. Nazareno, Smart handles at least 800 million texts daily. That’s over 9,000 texts per second! A realistic figure?

As of 2006, there are 90 million people living in the Philippines. Let’s assume that only one out of three Filipinos own a cellphone. That’s only 5 million more than Smart’s advertised 25 million subscriber base.

It would take 27 texts per person to reach 800 million a day—very possible in a country where most people would rather text than call. Not to mention that this doesn’t take into account the millions of Filipinos working abroad, who rely on SMS to stay in touch with loved ones back home.

And Smart Communications Inc. isn’t the only service provider in the Philippines, you also have Globe Telecom and Sun Cellular.

It’s reasonable to presume that their subscribers account for at least 400 million more texts. Especially since Sun made a name for itself by offering unlimited usage at flat rates.

So, could it be that local cellular networks handle over 1.2 billion texts daily? The 30 million would have to text 40 times a day for this figure to be a reality. But again, in text-crazy Philippines, such a figure is reasonable.

Bill Gate's Advice to Kids

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! To anyone with kids of any age, or anyone who has ever been a kid, here is some advice Bill Gates recently dished out at a high school speech: 11 things you will not learn in school.

He talks about how feel good P.C. teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept has set them up to fail in the real world.

RULE 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

RULE 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world expects you to accomplish BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3: You will NOT make $40,000.00/year fresh out of high school. And you won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you EARN both.

RULE 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He won't have tenure.

RULE 5: Flipping burgers is NOT beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it OPPORTUNITY!

RULE 6: If you mess up, it is only your fault; learn from your mistakes.

RULE 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how COOL you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your room instead.

RULE 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and will give you as many times as you need to get it right. This doesn't have the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10: TV is NOT reality. In real life people need to leave the coffee shop and go to work.

RULE 11: BE NICE TO NERDS!! Chances are you will end up working for one!

Last Day at Fitness First

Yes.

After more than a year, I decided to end my membership at Fitness First and transfer to another health and fitness facility (GOLD'S GYM).

Also, I am trying to save some money because I am buying myself a Macbook very soon… Like tomorrow!! LOL. So I would need all the extra cash I can save.

Below is a copy of my cancellation letter:

Fitness First Manila

3rd Level, Robinsons Place Manila


M. Adriatico St.Ermita, Manila
Date: February 1, 2007

Re: Fitness First Account Number 01100164

To The Home Club Administrator;

I, Marvin Garcia, member of Fitness First Health Club since 11/30/2005 with membership number 01100164, am sending you this 30-day written notice to request cancellation of my membership and subscription from your health and fitness club effective February 28, 2007. By that time, I would have completed the minimum required term as stipulated on the terms and conditions portion of the agreement I signed when I first joined your club.

It is my understanding that my cancellation will not take effect until you give me a copy of my cancellation notice and receipt for payment for all required fees, thus I would appreciate receiving these documents as soon as they are available.

Furthermore, my cancellation should thus confirm that no payment will be taken out of the credit card information registered under my account for the months following the effectivity of my cancellation moving forward.

I will be surrendering my membership card to your facility upon expiry of my membership for your disposal.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely yours,

Marvin V. Garcia, ptrp
Team Supervisor l Peer Trainer l Service Delivery Department
PeopleSupport (Philippines), Inc.
People Support Center, Ayala cor. Sen. Gil Puyat Avenues
Makati City

YouTube Video Awards

YOUTUBE: 2006 was a pioneering year for online video, user-created content and the YouTube community. You let us into your bedrooms, created new forms of entertainment, and radicalized popular culture. Now it's time to reflect on what a tremendous year it was and recognize the best of the best during the first YouTube Video Awards.

YouTube has recently handed out recognition for the 7 Best Videos of 2006 in the very first YouTube Video Awards.

After 5 days of fervent ranking, the YouTube community came up with the seven best videos in 7 categories.

OK Go was chosen as Most Creative

Smosh made the Best Comedy

thewinekone got Best Commentary

Ask A Ninja got Best Series (beating Lonelygirl15,who is pretty much the unofficial YouTube mascot)

Terra Naomi got Best Music Video

the Free Hugs Campaign got Most Inspirational

and Kiwi! won Most Adorable.

The Boy Who Loved Me

I folded up into a clump in the middle of a sea of love letters, holding my knees tightly to my chest, and sobbed. I was floundering, torn between the deep attachments of the past and the pressing need to let go of them forever.

I was almost ready to die.

Three months earlier I could have sworn that I was the luckiest guy alive. Now, I might as well have drowned in the Pacific Ocean, thousands of miles away from home.

My dark night began in the aftermath of my break-up with my boyfriend. After a fair share of fights and emotional battery, I decided to end the eight-month relationship with the only love I knew.

In a split-second, I morphed back from a blushing, young prince to a pale-faced, plain-looking, Abercrombie-wearing guy in Havaianas flip flops with only my iPod Nano as a companion. He stole my magic when he left.

He took away my life, my dreams, and my dog.

But how do you go about forgetting someone who once meant the world to you? How do you forget the moments that made your heart skip a beat? How do you forget the future you once hoped for?

He was my best friend, my twisted sunshine. He still is. He could walk into a room and light up my day, no matter how bad it was. He's the one person in the world who knows me better than anyone else. He was my soul mate. He's the one being who knew me, and accepted me, and believed in me before anyone else did or when no one else would. He made me want to be a better man to my friends, to others, to myself. To have bigger plans and brighter dreams. To have a better soul. He's a handsome bright young man whose sense of wonder and adventure unfortunately outstripped my own so much that it magnified other, smaller problems to a point where, well....here we are.

For the first time in months, I looked around my apartment and felt the utter loneliness. I am left with nothing but his sweet scent on my pillows. I am stunned, incapable of taking hold of the notion of loss. He no longer binds me, but my heart refuses to move on.

In my insecurity and solitude, I find solace in the fact that this is not the end. Remembering that what lies in store for us isn't always that which we immediately hope for.

Life has a room for a little of everything. Sometimes you dance with a partner, and sometimes you dance alone. But the important thing is to keep dancing.

I still die everyday. It still hurts badly. Letting go isn't a one-time thing, it's something you have to do everyday, over and over again.

Good luck my love.

I hope you find what you're looking for. That hope is only surpassed by my wish it had been me.

It Takes Balls

I really don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive:

you've got to flap your arms and legs…

you've got to jump around a lot…

you've got to make a lot of noise…

Because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if you're quiet, you're not living.

You've got to be noisy…

or at least your thoughts should be noisy and colorful and lively…

My Pockets Are Empty

I always had a dream that when I am asked to give an accounting of my life to a higher court, it will go like this:

"So, empty your pockets. What have you got left of your life? Any dreams that were unfulfilled? Any unused talents that we gave you when you were born that you still have left? Any unsaid compliments or bits of love that you haven't spread around?"

And I will answer, "I've nothing to return. I spent everything you gave me."

For 24 years, I have always done what I wanted to do. Call me a risk-taker but I am still doing it… Call me crazy… call it a shame but I am still saying it… That’s my simple life philosophy --- be what you want, do what you want, say and eat what you want, so long as you’re not stepping on anyone.

I wore the clothes I wanted to wear no matter how crazy they look or how expensive or cheap they were. But hey, I never looked like a fool with my choice of fashion.

I tried all types of hairstyle --- set it on gel… have it dyed… cut it really short… and grow it back again… I even had my head shaved several times (despite the cuts I get whenever I let them do it)…

I went to places I have always wanted to go… name it; I’ve been there.

If I want to say something, I’ll say it… If I want to say fuck you, I'm going to say fuck you. If you want to beep it out, go ahead and beep it out, but I will still say fuck you!

For me, life is to be enjoyed. It is to be lived and to be lived well.

So at the end of the day, my pockets are all empty… but my heart is full, my soul overflowing and my whole being jam-packed. . .