Saturday, September 15, 2007

Know me more

Last thing you burned while cooking?
Popcorn, I always leave them in too long…

Describe yourself in 3 words:
Casual, friendly, Straight-forward

How long does it take you to get ready for your day?
60 minutes

Are you a health freak?
Not by any means…

How many people have you thought were the one?
4

What turns you off about other people?
Being outlandishly stupid to get attention

What celebrity would you have coffee with?
Paris Hilton

What celebrity(s) would you have sex with?
Natalie Portman and Channing Tatum

What is the main ring tone on your cell?
Old Phone

What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching PrisonBreak and eating cheetos

Last TV show you watched?
KC, from Paris to Pinas... hehehe

Who is your best friend?
Debbie Ann

Who in your family do you get along with?
My little brother

Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Matthew

How many times have you been in love?
2
How old will you be in 10 years?
10 years older than I am today.
What did the last text message you received on your cell say?
Good night from a friend.

What is a saying you say a lot?
Well, we’re not going to live forever ya know.

Favorite chocolates?
White Toblerone

Worse date ever?
Don’t remember, I blocked it from memory.
What would you do if you could be the opposite sex for a day?
I would go up to all my friends and scare the hell out of them.

In your cd player right now?
I don’t even own a CD player anymore. That is SO 1998.

Something you believe?
That God has control of my life.

What is something you fear?
Losing my job and having to start over again.

Best time to catch you in a good mood?
When I’m not in a bad mood.

Most prized possession?
My pride. hahaha... My house I guess.

Would you ever sell them?
Hell no.

What is one of your pet peeves?
People that talk to much about off-topic subjects during a conversation.

Unhealthy addictions?
Smoking, Internet.

Unhealthy fascinations?
Um…I guess none…
Favorite sexual position?
Any, I’m a guy… I’m happy just getting some…
What physical part would you change about yourself?
Bigger….. hands. LOL

Soft sensual sex or porn star sex?
Again… see 2 questions up…
Would you go on a date with someone you met online?
It depends on the Guy, the location and the situation.

Work attire?
Jeans and Tee
What is your best physical feature?
Don’t think I’ve got a good physical feature. Fine... my smile...

Do you think anyone has actually read this far?
Nope…

Monday, September 10, 2007

PENIS FACTS

Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons
Wait just a damn minute! You mean he breathes that damn hard for 2 teaspoons?? Oh and I gotta be down there THAT long just for that?! damn!

Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
He must be working on that 2 teaspoon thingy

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000
...a week maybe, LOL

Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour
Ok.... like I'd kill to see the speedometer they used for this test. Hahaha. That’s funny and fast.

Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7
Quick! Someone call Oprah!! Here’s a fat free diet I bet she hasn't tried!

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches
Well well well...Mr... Happy ain't looking so damn happy right now is he??

Average length when erect: 5.1
Damn!!that's not very encouraging! Why there has to be a mistake here ... cause all the guys on G4M say theirs is 10 inches! Someboooooodys lying!!!!!

Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch
I think I've dated him... LAUGHS LOUDLY:

Largest natural penis recorded: 11 inches
Wonder where I can write to this guy?? Like just what exactly is a "natural" penis??

Percentage of men who say they masturbate: 60%
Well.... we know they didn't take this poll on Multiply... now did they? LOL.

Percentage of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%
This is the percentage of men NOT on G4M… LOL

Percentage of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%
Guilt??? WTF is that? Honey your dewin it wrong.

Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 minutes to 2 weeks
2 weeks? Guess he needs VIAGRA!! Ackkkkk 2 weeks??? 2 weeks?? You don't need Viagra you need a transplant!

Average # of erections per day for a man: 11
....during one hour of Queer As Folk… LOL

Average # of erections during the night: 9
....I wanna know who stayed awake and counted! Hahahaha…

Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches
Does this including the dude with the 5/8 inch pee pee too? Hehehe

The human equivalent: 26 miles
26 miles and they can still make a baby, damn I am impressed

Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie
And to think I thought it was that cute little Victoria Secrets number

Yes, the penis does shrink in the shower...
...unless its showering with a Friend!! Like who the hell is chasing all these penis's around with a ruler?


*wink*