May your soul rest in peace

Can you imagine what it feels like to have someone sit you down and tell you that you're dying? The gravity of that, huh?

Then the clock starts ticking for you…

In a split second your awe is cracked open. You look at things differently --- smell things differently. You savor everything be it a glass of water or a walk in the park.

But most people have the luxury of not knowing when that clock's going to go off. And the irony of it is that that keeps them from really living their life. It keeps them drinking that glass of water but never really tasting it.

I just found out today, that a good friend of mine died yesterday morning due to brain tumor and I can’t help but ask why. Good heavens why him? I mean, he is so young for crying out loud. He still has a lot to live… a lot to fulfill…

My knees got weak, my voice escaped me and I am left here standing… wondering why it had to be you... imagining what we would be doing if you weren't set before me… ever so pale… ever so different... ever so cold…

We say that the hour of death cannot be forecasted, but when we say this we imagine that hour as placed in an obscure and distant future. It never occurs to us that it has any connection with the day already begun or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance.

It's never going to get easier.

There is never going to be a 'Death for Dummies' book. There is never going to be an escape plan to pain because no matter how much I try no matter how much I cry my life is never going to go back to the way it used to be, because I know I can't just text you on your cell phone and hope everything disappears.

I know that I can't stop myself from hoping that one day I will just receive a text from you and smile as if nothing happened.

I know that there will be days that it will be hard to get out of bed and look people in the eye and lie when they ask how I am.

I know that its going to hurt for the rest of my life and that I will always cry, but I also know that you're in heaven now and your away from all of the pain and everything is better for you now.

I just wish I could say the same for me.

Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But we never forget them.

And I promise, I will never forget you.

So long Joms…

*** Friends, please join me in praying for the eternal repose of my friend’s soul. Thank you.