What’s so Lethal about Dating?

Do you ever wonder when you meet someone if you are meeting the real person or a "representative"? Every now and again, I am reminded of how lethal the dating game can be. It is not for the faint of heart.

And so, my story goes...

OK, so my friend kept insisting I meet this guy. "Just have a drink," she said. She began to beg, so I finally decided to oblige her. I mean she made this guy sound better than sliced bread. The fact that I hadn’t been out on a "real" date in months was also a factor. My post-break-up life was taking some getting used to and I was attempting to get some normalcy back in my life.

We were slated to meet at a nightclub, which I wasn’t too crazy about at first, but I figured dancing would break the ice pretty quickly. Earlier when he and I spoke, he seemed to be intelligent and well spoken. He must have called my cell a dozen times to confirm and reconfirm. Was he overly attentive or a potential stalker? The jury was still out on this one.

I made it to my destination, and he and I hit it off instantly. He had a great sense of humor and was definitely pleasing to the eyes.

He ordered me a glass of margarita and we chatted about everything from work to relationships. After dancing the night away, things ended as sweet as they began and he was the perfect gentleman.

Over the next several days I was wined, dined and swept off my feet. He even took me to his work to meet his officemates. I truly believed this guy was the real thing. Our conversations were great and our time together was enjoyable. I had to pinch myself to make sure this was real.

He talked about living in together. He called me his "soul mate." So I wasn’t at all surprised when he asked me to be his boyfriend. We were compatible on so many different levels, I eagerly accepted. We started to plan our lives together.

There were just two things standing in the way --- Benjo and Kevin, the other two guys he had been seeing while dating me.

As it turns out, this man managed to lie about every aspect of his life. Benjo and Kevin were just two, of many, in his flock. He turned out to be nothing he claimed to be. The signs were there all along, but I made sense out of them at the time. I bet you can relate.

Hindsight is 20/20 and the lessons from this experience were invaluable. So to all of you who love being "in love," meditate on this. Slow down, take your time and check things out objectively. Separate fantasy from reality and trust your instinct.

Always remember, if you play the game in any form, you become the game.

Note to self: Look beneath the surface. The truth lives there.