When you don't have anyone telling you what to do anymore, sometimes you don't know then what you should do. It seems so much easier to have people make decisions for you. Clean your room, do the laundry, do the dishes, mow the lawn, chop down a tree, etc. Even little things like what you can and cannot eat, what you are going to wear, and that yes, you are going to school.
When you're a kid, your parents make those decisions for you. They tell you what you can and can't watch on TV, what time you're going to get your hair cut, and how many gerbils are too many. When you're a kid, you don't make many decisions for yourself.
Decisions.
Making decisions is a sign of power. You're the one who makes the decisions. What power there is in that. Power is great, isn't it? Power is fun, you get to do whatever you want when you make all the decisions, right? Well, with power comes responsibility.
Responsibility.
You're responsible for the decisions you make. Every decision made carries with it an effect, a consequence. No punishments, no rewards, just consequences. Punishments and rewards are effects that occur outside of the decision-making process. You can have them or not, it doesn't matter. You can't get rid of consequences. Sure, you can put a spear point on your your baseball bat and try to get it through that stop sign. Go ahead. Too bad about that little girl. How's jail? You don't have to make any decisions anymore, at least. Easy.
Sometimes, with a lot of power, therefore a lot of responsibility, there comes a lot of stress. Hell, not sometimes, always. There's always stress attached to responsibility. There's stress in the immediate decisions, like do I try to make this yellow light before that truck comes through (whew, that was close!) and stress in the long-term.
Your decisions can either build you up or wear you down. Every adult human is in complete control of themselves. That's how it works, when you're living as an adult. Sometimes, adults don't want that much control, and give some to someone else. A spouse, parent, boyfriend/girlfriend, teacher, neighbor, cab driver, etc. A guy who sees a beautiful women in a restaurant and goes over to her, scared as hell that she's not going to like him, is giving over power over himself. He's not making the decisions anymore. She's in charge of his happiness.
Happiness.
Stress doesn't promote happiness, as far as we know. (quite far) Stress stresses us. Like the tension cables on a suspension bridge, constantly being pulled in three directions, stress stretches and pulls on us, and too much of it can make us snap, or fail. Less stress lets us relax a bit, and be more comfortable. Being comfortable makes us happy.
That's why we love that disgusting old leather couch in our grandpa's basement more than the new abstract artpiece with a funky name from IKEA. That's what we want from our friends. We want people that we can be completely comfortable with. That's what we want from ourselves. We want to be comfortable with ourselves.
Making good decisions tells you that you're doing the right thing. Your power isn't wasted. The more good decisions that you make, the more comfortable you are with yourself. If you're not the one making the right decisions, how can you take the credit for them? How can you be pleased with them?
Making decisions tells you that you're an adult.
You're alive.
You're responsible.
You have power.
You are in charge.
You are. --- Not your mom, not your boyfriend, not your dog. Okay, maybe your dog is in charge, but you know what? He learned it from you.
Take charge. You make tomorrow happen.
You're needed.
Don't screw it up.
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