Wonder Years

I was alone having coffee in my favorite restaurant one lazy Saturday afternoon, and I couldn't help overhearing two kids taking turns asking each other what they want to be when they grow up. Like all the other kids I asked this question to, one wants to be a doctor because he would like to help the sick, the other one wants to be a pilot someday. Their conversation was really funny in a serious kind of way or serious in a funny kind of way, but that's how kids have always been -- spontaneous, adventurous and they all have big dreams for the future.

So right at that moment, I thought to myself, when I was a kid, what did I wanted to be when I grow up?

It took some time for me to remember that at one point in my young life, I wanted to be a lawyer. I had a relative who was a lawyer and when my mom and I visit him in his office, he was always dressed up and he looked really stylish and neat. So I thought I wanted to be just like him someday (not to marry him okay. My sexual preferences and orientation were still pretty much intact when I was a kid).

I have an aunt who was a pre-school teacher for so many years. So there was a short period in my life that I wanted to be like her, I thought all she did is play with the kids. But then, she always had to work till late in the evening checking papers and preparing exams. So that didn't last either.

I also wanted to be pilot because I've always wanted to see the world. While other kids wanted to be a doctor or an engineer, I wanted to be a nurse so I can take care of my parents and grandparents (without having to spend so many years in school).

I forgot all the other dreams I had, but I am sure of something, it was a lot. And looking back, I realized that I didn't get to be anything that I dreamed myself to be. I took up my course (Bachelor of Science in Physical Therapy, De La Salle University Health Sciences Campus) in college because, it was, as I was told, the most "in demand" field at that time and not because that was where my heart was. I've grown to love it though but mainly because I had to, I thought of shifting to another course but I got scared of change. I graduated cum laude and topped my board exams.

But there are days when I'm curious about what my life would have been like if I pursued even one of my childhood dreams.

Maybe, just maybe, I'd be happier. Maybe, I'd have more energy to do what I have to accomplish for more than 8 hours of my life each day. Maybe, I'd feel more fulfilled.

Maybe…

But I realized that I had a choice and I decided to choose the choices I made. It may not be the best, but I learned to accept things as they come and be thankful for whatever I have. Sure, I made mistakes. And yes, I made the wrong decisions. But no matter how big or how little those mistakes were, I learned a lot from each one of them. And it made me the kind of person that I am now.

I may not be as successful as what I envisioned myself to be, or I may not be as rich, or not at all famous. But I'm proud of the fact that I'm making the most out of my life and with what I have. And I'm quite happy with how my life turned out.

Everyday, we face a lot of choices. We answer a lot of questions. Where to eat, what to wear, what road to take, whether to stay or to go, whether to take the promotion or to move on to other things. It's hard to take the "other" route when you're comfortable wherever it is that you are. But there are decisions in life worth doing just for the heck of it --- to grow and to continue to be challenged. Because after all, that's what living is about.

Come to think of it, I didn't become a nurse, but I took care of my grandparents when they got sick a few years back. I didn't become a pilot, but I had the chance to see other places and countries. I didn't become a teacher, but I know that you don't necessarily have to be one to teach people what you know about life…

So that only leaves being a lawyer…

Well, three out of four ain't that bad, right?