Saturday, July 7, 2007

Bitter and Jaded no more


After any breakup, you do what the average person does...

You sit and question.

You second guess every action.

You think about 'what-if'.

You debate on those words that seem so perfect, and then try to find a way to get them out.

Everyone tries to give you advice, and you love them for it. But, advice really can't be taken until you've reached a realization that what you had for as long as you had it for... is over.

And once you do realize it, the advice doesn't even matter because you fight with yourself... over the fact that there really is no one meant for you. That, it’s just isn't worth trying anymore. That being bitter and jaded may be the best way to live.

But, perhaps the best thing to do is understand.

Well, at least try to understand.

I found myself many times before being bitter and jaded after being broken up with. And, I can sense the feeling that perhaps my ex boyfriends also had those feelings towards me when I decided to call things off.

But, this year has taught me that as good as it is for your heart and mind to try and hold onto to something that is broke, it's not good for your soul.

Alas, it's also not good to just let go, as well.

So, you find yourself battling... trying to see what's the best road to take.

But, perhaps it's the road of understanding that's the best path to take.

Understanding that your heart will mend.

Understanding that they didn't mean to break your heart.

Understanding that tomorrow will come, and with it a reason to smile... a reason to live.

It's hard... you know, to understand. You become full of hatred that it's hard to try to understand someone else's thoughts when it's your own you're trying to deal with. But, in the end it's understanding that makes life worth living.

In understanding, you find a way to fight being bitter... fight being jaded, and most of all... fight all reason that leads you to believe it won't get better.

Because, it will get better.

It has before, and it will again.

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