The Greatest Lies in the World

The check's in the mail.

I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.

I thought I already gave you that money I owed you.

I promise I'll pay you back next Friday.

I've never been this drunk before.

I'll never get this drunk again.

I've checked this Email out, and it's really not a hoax.

Now we're even.

I'm fine.

We found and fixed the last bug!

The software will ship on schedule.

It was as simple as that.

It's all your fault!

I love you.

You don't need to use a condom; I'm on the Pill.

I don't need to use a condom; I've had a vasectomy and tested negative for STDs.

A representative of the government says...

We'll have the repairs on your car done by noon.

Operator, my calling card number is...

You look like you haven't aged a day.

No, I don't think that outfit makes you look fat.

This is what it will cost to repair your car.

If elected, I promise...

You're going to love working here.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Nine out of ten people surveyed said...

Please hold, and a customer service representative will be with you shortly.

I'll only take a minute of your time.

Our cellular phones will give you more freedom...

100% compatible with your existing equipment.

!!Make Money Fast!!

Lose all the weight you want!

I'm being totally unbiased.

I promise I'll pull out in time.

With all due respect...

For your convenience...

In order to serve you better...

I'm planning to get a divorce so I can marry you.

I'll call you.

I never meant to mislead you.

My wife (husband) is okay with me seeing other people; s/he just doesn't want to know about it.

I'm not leaving you for him/her; I just need some space to think things through.

This will only hurt a little.

This will hurt me more than it does you.

I'm doing this for your own good.

It's only for a little while...

I didn't mean any harm.

Oh well, no harm done...

It was an accident.

I didn't do it.

I don't know who did it.

We are experiencing a peak level of call volume...

Free Adult XXX Web Site!!!

No obligation!

You may already be a winner!

This product was made in an environmentally friendly manner.

I know it's none of my business...

I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but...

This should be easy.

To speak to a representative, press "9".

It's nothing personal.

This isn't partisan politics; it's for the good of the country.

I'm not addicted; I can quit smoking any time I want.

New and Improved!

Trust me.

That was special.

*Out of all the lies he told me, "I love you" was my favorite and "I miss you" was a close second.